How big a role does the Internet play in your life? Come join me over at Mom Spark today, and check out my post Are You a 2.0 Family.
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Google the question Is Blogging Dead? and you get hundreds upon hundreds of, ironically enough, blog posts discussing just that.
Maybe in some circles blogging is dying. Maybe in other circles blogging is simply changing and evolving. I know there is one circle where blogging is alive, it’s growing and, I think, is in no danger of dying out. That is the wide and varied circle made up of moms who blog.
Why? Because mom blogs are not generally just about raking in ad revue or selling swamp land in Florida. They’re about connecting.
Some moms blog about family life, some about being a WHAM, some about photography, some about being frugal. The subjects are as unique and diverse as the women who write about them. But ask moms who blog, and most will tell you it started out as a desire to share and reach out beyond themselves.
You can pour out your heart on your blog, and receive a dozen supportive comments from other moms in the same situation.
You can read a post from another mom, and know you’re not the only one.
There are so many women out there who’s writing moves us to tears, brings a smile to our face, makes us laugh out loud. Because they are putting into words feelings and experiences that we all share.
This circle of moms who blog is a community in a world where community is becoming increasingly rare. We’re so busy with so many activities, there isn’t time for weekly coffee klatches and bridge clubs. But at nap time or the end of the day when the kids are in bed, we can steal a few minutes with the computer.
Some worry that social media is driving us into our homes and away from each other. But for moms who are often isolated already by their family responsibilities blogging, Facebook, and Twitter are all ways to say in touch with the rest of the world. And blogging, more than any of those mediums, allows us to express ourselves fully.
As long as women are giving birth and raising children there will be the need to vent, to express joy, to share sorrows.
And they will blog about it.
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Hi, my name is Colleen and I have Social Media Anxiety.
I feel that it’s important to talk about this serious disorder, and remove the shame from it by bringing attention to it.
What is Social Media Anxiety or SMA you ask?
Well, SMA is when I want to leave a comment on someone’s blog, but don’t because I worry that I’ll sound like a dork.
Or when I do leave a comment I fret for hours after that what I said was completely lame.
Other times I want to comment on a blog, but don’t because I wonder if it will look like I’m just trying to draw attention to myself and my blog by commenting on theirs. Especially if it’s a popular, well-read blog.
Twitter is even worse. What are the parameters for @replying to someone that I’ve never tweeted with before? Is there some kind of mandatory waiting period? Like, should I follow them for two weeks, a month first?
If I do @reply will they misinterpret my sarcasm? Again, what if I sound like a dork? Will they think I’m just trying to gain followers for myself? How often can I @rely to someone before I’m pegged as a cyber-stalker and they call the police? How familiar is too familiar? What if no one @replies back to my tweets? Is it because I’m terminally unhip?
See?
It’s a virtual panic attack.
Then there are all the times that I don’t leave a comment or send an @reply to a tweet, because my mind simply goes blank and I can’t think of anything clever to say.
I can’t tell you how many tweets and comments I’ve deleted. Or how many times I pushed the send button then gotten sweaty palms fretting over how my statement will be received.
Writing blog posts and recording vlogs is a little different.
I have hours to think about what I want to say, and craft my words. That gives me plenty of time to remove all the dorkyness and stupidity. (Yeah, if you’ve been reading long enough you know a lot of that dorkyness and stupidity still gets through.)
But then there are the times I write what I think is a fantastic post, and no one comments. And I imagine that it must be because I sound like I’m crazy.
In fact, I fear that you’ll read this, think I’m a whack job and run for the hills.
I’m working on my SMA. I’ve been forcing myself to get out there more, and tweet and comment even if I do sound lame or look like I’m shamelessly promoting myself.
I can’t be the only one out there with SMA. I want you to know you’re not alone. It takes baby steps to overcome SMA. Why not start by leaving a comment on this post or tweeting me @mommiedaze.
It’s OK.
You’re safe here.
I’m going to hit publish now, and lay awake all night thinking about how silly I sound.
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I’m over at Mom Spark again today.
Signs you May Need to take a Social Media Break
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After a year of experimenting with microblogging on Twitter I’m getting back to what first drew me to it.
I jumped on the Twitter bandwagon last spring when I started noticing all these “Follow Me on Twitter” buttons on other Mom Blogs.
I decided that I wanted to be like all the cool kids too, and got myself a Twitter account.
I was mostly there to socialize. It was fun to have little conversations with people I knew from reading their blogs, and to read everyone’s little quips and pithy thoughts.
For a long time I had around 200 followers, and I followed less than 100. I was pretty selective about who I followed. I even went as far as to block other people from following me if I thought they added me to their list just to pad the numbers on their account.
Then I started reading all these articles about how Twitter could be used as a networking tool and a means of marketing and self-promotion.
Oooh!
Would Twitter be the tool to launch Mommie Daze into the Big Leagues? Would someone read my clever tweets and offer me a book deal? Would companies be flooding my email with requests to advertise on my blog?
Look, if you’re at all serious about blogging, no matter how small your readership, don’t tell me you’ve never had such dreams. You have to be a little narcissistic to believe anyone cares about what you have to say in the first place.
I started following more people. And more people started following me. I was up to over 700 of both in about a week. Not a million like Ashton, but not bad for my little corner of the social media world.
Then I logged into Twhirl, and there were all these tweets from people who’s names I didn’t recognize, and whose 140 character blurbs didn’t interest me. And I couldn’t find the tweets from the people I did want to keep up with because they were lost among the crowd of others.
I signed up for TweetDeck, and tried to sort the people I followed into groups. But the process of clicking on each profile, and visiting each of their websites to determine if they were relevant to me was just to slow and grueling.
Twitter wasn’t fun anymore. I couldn’t interact like I once had, and even though I tweeted everyone one of my Pulitzer Prize winning blog posts, I was not living a life of fame and fortune. I pretty much stopped using Twitter, except for my blog posts that automatically tweeted, thanks to Twitterfeed.
I decided to try Twitter again a few weeks ago. First, I stopped automatically tweeting every single one of my posts. I realized it was probably kind of annoying, and maybe a little like spamming everyone following me.
Then I set out to weed through the 765 people I was following. I had to get that number down to something more manageable. I knew I was bound to loose followers if they discovered I’d dropped them. But I decided it was worth it to get back to enjoying Twitter again.
I found two tools helpful in whittling down my follow list. I stared with Huitter’s Mutuality tool which lets you mass unfollow people who don’t follow you back. I want an interactive experience. There can’t be interaction if we don’t mutually follow each other.
I did give exceptions for some big names whose tweets I wanted to keep up with. Let’s face it. Really famous tweeters simply can not follow back everyone who follows them.
Then I used MyCleenr to remove any inactive accounts from my list of people I followed based on the criteria of two months or more since their last tweet. Again I gave exceptions for people I actually knew, hoping they’d be back.
Using those two applications I quickly reduced my list to under 450. I’ve lost around 10 followers since I started this. I’m sure there’ll be more once people realize I’ve dropped them.
Currently I”m in the middle of going through the people that I still follow. So far I’ve removed another 52. Already I’m getting more out of Twitter again. I actually have tweets coming up that I want to read.
Social media is an amazing phenomenon with so much potential. People have used it to go farther than they ever imagined. It is an effective marketing tool. It’s also just a lot of fun. And I think that’s the key. However you use it, whatever you use it for, it has to be enjoyable. Otherwise, what’s the point? If your Twitter account or your Facebook page or even your blog is a source of stress, I say re-evaluate how you use it and why. Then get back to what you love.
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