Posts tagged as:

Michigan

Cranky

August 28, 2009 · 6 comments

I mentioned before that my husband mowed a path through the field behind our home so I could walk back there for exercise. Even though we live out in the Kuntry our road is apparently a main artery between Podunk and The Ends of the Earth. We get all kinds of traffic going by really fast, and there are no sidewalks. I don’t want to be somebody’s hood ornament.

By the way there is actually a place named Podunk near where we live.

Yep.

Anyway, for the longest time I couldn’t figure out what was with all the cars going by so fast. But now I have a theory.

Fact: Michigan has a big problem with the illegal production and trafficking of Methamphetamine.

As someone once told me, people here have to find something to do after they’re laid off from their job at Chrysler.

Fact: Our house is located less than a quarter mile from the county line. In the county on the other side of that line meth is one of the largest contributors to the local economy.

I’m not kidding.

Fact: NASCAR got it’s start in the south during prohibition when bootleggers with cars full of moonshine tried to evade police by driving souped up cars really fast.

That’s true. Look it up.

So the cars barreling east down our road at break-neck speeds must have trunks full of Sudafed and iodine.

(I just Googled “ingredients for making meth”. Do you think the police will come search my house now? My husband was once pulled over by police, and his truck searched because he was driving around late at night with a propane tank in the bed. They thought for sure he had a mobile meth lab back there.)

And the cars barreling west down our road at break-neck speed must have bags of crystal meth stuffed under the seats.

Fact: Suburban housewives make up one of the largest groups that use meth.

It’s cheap, and it makes you skinny. I have been trying to lose weight… Don’t worry. What good would it do me to be skinny, but also toothless and bald? Yeah. I kinda like having teeth.

I do have one question. How is it that people who dropped out of high school know enough chemistry to figure out how to make meth in their basements? I have a college degree, and the only thing I know about chemicals is not to mix bleach and ammonia.

Yes, yes I know this is a serious problem, and I’m making light of a terrible thing that kills people and ruins lives. Look, I in no way advocate the production, sale or use of meth or any other illegal substance.

But man do I wish the Duke Brothers would find another route to peddle their Crank.

Or at least slow down.

(And if you don’t get that Duke Brothers reference, well, I’m really old and you’re not.)

Public Service Announcement: For more information about this truly serious problem and what communities are doing to try and stop it visit Meth Watch.

Oooh, now I feel all like one of those TV stars on The More You Know commercials.


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Because michigansucks.com Was Already Taken

June 10, 2009 · 12 comments

I actually wrote this post on Saturday when I was a little cranky. I was also kind of  angry. I didn’t hit the publish button right away.

Here’s some bloggy advice. If you write a post when you’re mad, refrigerate it over night before dishing it up. You might find once you’re chilled, that you really didn’t want to put that out there on the Word Wide Web forever.

I almost didn’t publish this at all. But while I’d like to hide behind my computer and pretend that I am always happy and at peace regardless of what life doles out, that wouldn’t be honest. I know we’re not the only ones this happened to this year. Maybe it will make somebody else feel better to know she’s not the only one who flipped out.

So here’s the edited, slightly less bitter version of my original post. But I had to keep the title, because, well, it’s just funny.

Warning: This post contains anger, sarcasm and even some political commentary you may not agree with.

Dave got laid off from his job at a Michigan auto parts supplier Friday. Surprised? No. It’s been touch and go for a while. GM filing for bankruptcy was the proverbial last nail in the coffin.

A big thank you goes out to the US Government, Financial Institutions, US Auto Makers and all the other morons who messed up our economy, and brought us to this point. And you know what? Republicans, Democrats — you’re all pretty much at fault.

This fiasco crosses party lines.

It wasn’t enough to make a disaster of the banking industry? You had to take an already messed up auto industry and screw it up even more?!

In Michigan we’re suffering the brunt of this. You can’t imagine the number of foreclosed homes and empty businesses. They say our unemployment rate will hit 20 percent before it’s all said and done. The population is shrinking because people are fleeing this black hole. We’ll be right behind them if any of the out-of-state job leads Dave has pan out.

To add insult to injury Michigan’s gas prices are the highest in the country right now.

I seriously looked to see if michigansucks.com was available, but someone else snapped it up already. And .net, and .org. Even michigansucks.wordpress.com is taken.

I guess I’m not the only one feeling that sentiment.

I listened to the press conference where the GM bigwigs tried to make it sound like everything was going to be fine. I got that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. The kind where you know things have irreparably changed for forever.

We’ve come to a crossroads in this country, and I’m really not sure we’ll ever be the same.

My generation will be the first to not do better than our parents. Even the depression era generation managed to pull it out in the end.

I also listened to Obama talk about how we all had to sacrifice. With what? Our jobs and financial well-being? So that the government can carry out it’s plan to fix the economy?

Government is not the answer. Letting them control every aspect of our economy, and relying on them to provide for us will not fix things. Only hardworking, individual Americans and good old-fashioned ingenuity will get us there. So how about the government stops tying the hands of business owners with ridiculous taxes and regulations?

Instead of “Take this job and shove it,” I say, “Take this government and shove it!” (O.K. I almost deleted that too, but again, just too funny.)

You want to talk about sacrifice? The owner of the company my husband worked for has done all he could for months to keep the doors open, and people working. I don’t know if you could find a better person to work for.

Which just makes this all the more sad.

We’re better off than a lot of people. We have a safety net to fall back on. Dave is back working full time for the family business. As long as it can survive in this lousy economy. Our biggest loss in all of this is our health insurance. Dave is self-employed again, and we can’t afford the hundreds of dollars a month private health insurance costs.

But that still doesn’t make me a proponent of nationalized health care.

Oh, Lord, please don’t let the government wreck that industry too!

Speaking of the Lord, I know he’ll take care of us and provide.

I’m just mad right now, and sometimes you just need to be mad for a while.

I’m pretty O.K. today.

But I still think Michigan sucks.

Just a little.

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Family Day Out on a Budget in West Michigan

February 27, 2009 · 0 comments

If you live in West Michigan, or are planning to visit, here’s a day of affordable fun for the whole family.

Recently we went downtown to the Kalamazoo Valley Museum. I’d heard good things about it from other moms, and what intrigued me most is that general admission is free. Like everyone else these days, we’re trying to be thriftier with our budget.

Well, the KVM is absolutely fantastic! They have some really great exhibits detailing the history of West Michigan that interest Mom and Dad. But the highlights are all the interactive displays that even young children can participate in.

There are several science related exhibits. One features weather phenomenon, and you can watch as a miniature tornado forms. Another teaches how magnets work, and has hands-on activities for experimenting with magnetic energy. A display on electricity allows you to power a light bulb and a radio by turning a crank. That fascinated my son, David. You can even build a remote control car and race it around a small track. That was really popular with David too.

Besides the permanent exhibits, the museum features several  temporary ones through out the year. Currently Eyes on Earth details how satellites work using several interactive displays. We spent a lot of time in that section experimenting with orbit and radar imaging. It sounds complicated, but because it’s so hands-on, even four year old David seemed to understand it.

All pre-schoolers will love the Children’s Landscape room. There you’ll find books, games, toys and even dress-up costumes to entertain little ones. We had to tear David away from the indoor snowball fight, fought with bean bags behind cardboard snow forts.

The KVM does have to two exhibits that charge admission. The Challenger Learning Center features a simulated space station and mission control. It was not open the day we were there. The other is the planetarium which has several different shows through out the week. We were fortunate to be there during the show designed for pre-school and elementary children. David enjoyed that too. Both these exhibits cost $3 a person.

We spent about three hours at the museum, including the 45 minute planetarium show. David didn’t want to leave, but Mom and Dad were starving. So we headed down a couple blocks to Old Burdicks housed in the Radisson Hotel.

Old Burdicks is a local sports bar and grill with a family-friendly atmosphere. The menu has a little of everything; steaks, burgers, pasta, Asian stir fry, even comfort food. The food is good, and reasonably priced. What makes it great for families on a budget is that for every adult entree purchased you get a free kid’s meal.

Kalamazoo is fairly easy to get around. There is a parking garage across from the museum. The fee is small and even less on weekends. The garage is centrally located in the downtown area so shops, restaurants and other places of interest are in easy walking distance. We probably would have spent more time downtown, but it was too cold and snowy that day to do much walking.

The Kalamazoo Valley Museum is definitely worth checking out, even if you have to drive a little to get to it. It’s quality family entertainment for free. You can’t get more bang your buck.

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Calling all Michigan Moms

October 18, 2008 · 0 comments

Are you a mom living in Michigan? Then head over to Michigan Mamas and join the new social network just for you. Michigan Mamas is a place to connect, laugh, share resources and tips, explore Michigan mom-owned businesses and blogs, and relax with other Michigan moms.

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The Snow’s not so Bad After-All

December 4, 2007 · 3 comments

After living here for 10 years I guess I have finally become a true Michigander, because suddenly I find myself liking the winters here.

I grew up in Northeastern Indiana and we did have snow, but it is approached with a different attitude there. As soon as the flakes start to fall plows and salt trucks are out on the roads. School is canceled or delayed if the streets threaten danger and those who must to drive do so with caution. Snow is an inconvenience.

Here in West Michigan, where we have lake effect snow “showers” that can dump a foot of snow in two hours, things are completely different. First of all if you have not experienced lake effect snow you must understand that at one location it can be calm and sunny, and a mile down the road a lake effect snow band can be producing a white out. (For those of you who live in climates with eternal summer, a white out is when it snows so hard you can’t see anything around you.) The first thing I learned about winter in Michigan is that even if the road is covered in snow and ice, few people actually drive slower that the posted 70 mile an hour speed limit on the express way. I still drive slowly in a snow storm, and am amazed by the people who fly by me only to see them sitting in the ditch up the road a bit.

The other thing that is strange to me about winter in Michigan is that they don’t keep the roads clear during a winter storm. In fact several municipalities have a policy that they will not even begin to clear the roads until it stops snowing. This I really can’t understand. If you have to go somewhere before the snow stops falling I guess it’s just up to your own good fortune whether you get there safely of not.

Three years ago, just before my son was born, I experienced the worst winter driving conditions I have ever seen. It had snowed several inches during the morning, warmed up above freezing in the early afternoon, then quickly dropped to below freezing just in time for the five O’clock rush hour. The heavy snow and temperature fluctuations caught the everyone off guard. The streets were covered in thick, frozen slush. It was bumpy and very slick. I couldn’t go over 35 miles an hour in my little Honda Civic without starting to slide toward the ditch. I knew it was bad when I realized everyone was going as slow as I was. Even the people in their big four-wheel-drive SUVs were gingerly making their way down the highway.

I was still working at the time, and had to drive about 40 miles from my office to my home where we lived then. Normally the drive took about 45 minutes. On this particular night it took me two hours. I was 8 months pregnant, and besides desperately needing a bathroom for the last hour, I couldn’t help but picture the tragedy of me and my baby being killed in some terrible crash. I was terrified the whole way home. I finally arrived at my house shaking and exhausted from the trip. It was later that night the I came to the conclusion that if I survived that, I could survive just about any road conditions. Suddenly I was no longer paranoid about driving in the snow and ice. 

We had rain that turned to snow, that turned to freezing rain, that turned back into snow a couple nights ago. There wasn’t much snow on the road, but there was a lot of ice. It seemed to me the logical thing to do was put down salt to melt the ice, but no one did. Last night the road we live on was covered with a sheet of dangerous black ice. (Again for those not accustomed to cold, black ice is ice that forms on asphalt that is so clear you can’t see it because it just looks like the road. If you don’t drive carefully you will discover it only after you’ve slid into a tree.) I drove cautiously, easing my car around the curves, gently tapping the brakes, gripping the steering wheel. When I pulled into my drive-way I felt a sense of relief, but also one of excitement. It had been a challenge to get home safely, and now that I was there I had to admit it had also been a little fun. After driving through a bad storm my husband sometimes says after reaching our destination, “That was fun!” I didn’t use to understand how he could think that was fun. 

There is more snow forecast for tonight, and I’m actually looking forward to it. I appreciate the beauty of the snow, glistening and frosting everything outside. I am even starting to like the sharpness of the cold air and shocking jolt it gives, waking up all the nerves in your body. I also love playing in the snow with my son and watching him enjoy it.

I guess if I can find driving in bad weather fun, and see the beauty in a frozen world, I have fully embraced my status as a resident of Michigan. But this transplant will probably continue to frustrate life-long Michiganders by going too slow. I value my life and my vehicle too much to take that risk. 

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