I mentioned in passing the other day that I don’t camp.
I stay in hotels.
Preferably ones that have in-room coffee makers, complimentary hairdryers and toiletries that are worth stealing.
I thought I’d elaborate on why you won’t find me shacking up in a tent, or tooling around in an RV any time soon.
1. I believe access to a full-sized, flush-able toilet that is plumbed to a sewage source that is not self-contained is a basic necessity of life.
2. I love my children. BUT, I do not want to be that close to them when we are sleeping. A co-sleeping parent I am not.
3. Bears.
4. The Great Outdoors is made even greater by one’s ability to enjoy it for a little while then go back into the Great Indoors where it’s air conditioned and mosquito-free.
5. If I have to do that much walking, I’d rather be hiking through the mall.
6. Bears.
7. A canoe is not a reliable form of transportation. Especially if I’m paddling it.
8. How can you know for sure the people in the next tent over aren’t serial killers on the lam?
9. I think Kumbaya sounds just as nice sung around a flat screen TV as it does around a campfire.
10. Bears.
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{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
You are certainly a product of your upbringing. Since your father and I never took you camping in your entire childhood. Running kids camp in Ohio and going to Family Camp Meeting (where we stayed in the lodge ) was about as close to camping we ever got. At the church camp grounds we did have running water and showers. Although the dorms were wooden, had electric lights, beds, and fans.You have to admit all those vacations you used to complain about that we always visited so many museums was a lot better than camping outside. We did the state park scenes and visited places in the great outdoors; just at night we stayed in motels. Now that we’re taking our grandkids places we still aren’t planning on going camping.
You seriously crack me up!!! Bears??!!! Oh my!! We camp alot on our farm land. Mostly because the house is still under construction, so we can’t use it yet. Ha! But, the kids love it.
i’m going canoeing this weekend…..and i’ve yet to convince myself that it is anywhere NEAR a good idea. mainly because i don’t drink anymore and when we used to go, i’d be plastered and therefore running the canoe into trees or flipping it over and smashing your face on the bottom of the creek didn’t hurt as much. basically i’m thinking that i’m going to need to take some preemtive aspirin and hope for the best.
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I’m so the opposite. I’ve had to drag myself – nearly kicking and screaming – home from every camping trip I’ve taken this summer. I can’t wait to go back – soon.
Roughing it is a Holiday Inn without soap. ‘Nuff said.
I think that you and I may have been separated at birth! I’m a non-camper too. The closest I ever came to camping was staying in a hotel in London where you had to walk down the hall to use the bathroom. For the record, it was in college and my then boyfriend, who was totally cheap, booked this poor excuse for a hotel.
Never again. NEVER AGAIN.
I feel like I might possibly be capable of camping during the day as long as I am able to retire for the evening portion in a hotel. Then ya know, back to camp after a good shower and clean clothes and lotions and soaps and luxury treatments.
blueviolet´s last blog ..Do You Mom Like Your Mom Mommed
Twitter: crunchybetty
July 27, 2010
Um, yeah. I hear you. And I live in Colorado, where I think it might be law that you have to love to camp. I do not.
Although the bears don’t bother me much (they hang out on corners playing guitars and begging for money up in the mountain town my parents live in), the toilet thing always will. Forever.
Long live flushing.
Leslie @ crunchybetty.com´s last blog ..Nourishing Mango Mud Mask
I wholeheartedly agree! Camping for me is done in the Comfort Inn. I can rough it like that.
Joey @ Big Teeth & Clouds´s last blog ..I spent an hour making this mess
Twitter: Shairbearg
July 28, 2010
I love camping, my hubby not so much.
I do have to say most of your reasoning I can understand, but where do you think you are going camping that you are going to come across that many bears???? Seriously, we camped a lot as a kid, and not once did I see a bear! Raccoons, deer, fox, birds, yes, even a moose once, but never, not once, a bear
You crack me up! I’ve done the whole camping (tent and camper) routine, but I finally found my type of camping. It’s called glamping! Check this out. http://www.pawsup.com/resort/glamping-luxury-camping-tent-city.php
Twitter: carrieactually
July 28, 2010
i am not a fan of camping either. i’ve been rv camping twice but never tent camping. i’d rather just sleep in a real bed and have a real bathroom.
Carrie´s last blog ..Feed your iTunes Library- Risk and Buffy Season 8
Agreed! Bears!!!!!
I do not camp. It feels dirty. We build houses and hotels so we don’t have to camp.
Rachel´s last blog ..Going through Grandmas Recipe Box
seriously!!!! this is me too! and i worry about #8 too! i would have to add SNAKES to my list too. i’m not a camper. i’ve done it and i don’t really want to again. i totally get this!
That is great. Just great. Now – a week after I get back from camping – you make me think of bears. Not that I’ve heard of any sightings around here as of late… but still. Oh yeah, and I’m now a product of not wearing the appropriate spray/lotion/anything else for those pesky mosquito bites. Fun.
Did I mention that I am really a hotel-type girl too. Why I went camping is beyond me. I think maybe to experience my childhood again. {note to self: don’t}
Julie´s last blog ..The most memorable camping trip…