David took his kindergarten assessment test today. He did just fine, scoring above average.
I really wasn’t worried, because I know what his abilities are. I’m not saying he’s a genius, but he’s smart enough. He knows his ABCs, 123s, his address. All that basic stuff.
What he learned he learned at home. David didn’t go to pre-school. So that I can stay home with the boys, we live on a pretty tight budget. Pre-school just wasn’t something we could afford.
Since he didn’t need to learn algebra, I was pretty sure I could handle teaching him the basics. I tried for a time to do structured lessons with him every day. It didn’t work for either of us. There were too many distractions at home.
I’d make a really lousy homeschooling mom.
So his lessons came in the form of discussions when subjects came up. We taught him his address when we taught him what to do if, God forbid, he ever got separated from us out in public. Family time playing Crazy 8′s helped teach him his numbers.
It was fun, and David didn’t know he was learning.
But there were times I wondered if David was at a disadvantage, because he didn’t go to pre-school. Would he be behind? Was there something he needed to know that I wasn’t teaching him?
Today’s assessment proved that I didn’t need to worry about him learning the necessary “book” skills.
I do still worry a little bit about if he’s been socialized enough. He’s around other kids his age at church. He plays with kids at the park, and he has a new playmate next door now.
I also worry that he hasn’t had enough exposure to structured environments. What happens when he realizes he’s supposed to sit still, be quiet and follow the teacher’s instructions for four hours a day?
When I ask myself those questions, that’s when I get a small case of Mommy Guilt. Should we have found some way to send him to pre-school after all?
He’ll probably be just fine. But I can’t help it. Mom has to worry a little bit, right?
Did you send your kids to pre-school? Do you think pre-school is necessary?
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{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }
Twitter: NancysBlessings
April 27, 2010
I worry about all kinds of crazy things too! Obviously you have done a great job teaching David! All those things you talked about were teachable moments. Some people do homeschool that way. Teaching when something comes up.
Now, as for sitting still, that’s a whole different thing, lol! I’m sure a lot of the kids have a hard time learning that at first. But, kindergarten usually is divided up really good, so they don’t get too bored on one thing.
My oldest went to preschool and still couldn’t sit still for 1st or 2nd grade. He has ADHD, or so the doctors said. But, at least now, he doesn’t have to be on meds like he was when he was in school.
Nancy M.´s last blog ..13!
Twitter: mommiedaze
April 28, 2010
@Nancy M., I’m not a doctor, but I do think sometimes
they over diagnose and over medicate kids these days. I guess the important
this is that they’re in an environment where they can learn best at any age.
Twitter: Brookelorren
April 27, 2010
Your little boy will be fine! My daughter went to pre-school for a couple of years (I worked at the pre-school, that’s why she was there). My son has never gone (I’m a work-at-home freelance writer/homeschool teacher).
My son did have a problem when he initially started going to a structured environment when I put him in gymnastics. He was kicked out of gymnastics, in fact, because he wouldn’t follow the teacher’s directions, and would run around the gym (dangerous). So we had to make him wait a few months more. His friend, who is four days older than him, was able to listen to the teacher right away.
A few months later, we put him back in, and I bribed him with Gatorade. If he listened to his teacher, he got one. It only took a couple of class sessions after that. Now, when we get to class, he will run ahead, take off his shoes, and go into the gym before I even get to the viewing room.
Brooke Lorren´s last blog ..Cute Shirt I Found
I wanted to send my son to preschool because he was a shy little guy, but he wasn’t potty trained so he couldn’t go. I think he ended up getting about 6 months of it before kindergarten. She told me at the end that he would be ok in kindergarten academically, but that socially he was way quiet.
I decided to send him anyhow. He was quiet all the way through school actually, but he did just fine academically. I need not have worried!
blueviolet´s last blog ..When You Have to Shave Your Big Toes, BE CAREFUL!
Twitter: mommiedaze
April 28, 2010
@blueviolet, Some kids are just quiet no matter
what I think. I was one of those shy kids at school.
Twitter: 9to5to9
April 28, 2010
Kids absolutely do NOT need to go to preschool – and this is coming from a mom whose kids have been in and out of preschool since age 2, depending on my work status. My now-4-year-old is in this year mainly because I tried out last year while I attempted to work at home. Freelance writing deadlines and a toddler don’t mix well!
He’s done well in both settings. Preschool has been particularly good for him this year, because it’s the first time he’s been in school without his older brother and it’s been neat to see him blossom.
I believe that young children learn best when they learn from their environment. My 4-year-old learned his numbers by playing with his Thomas trains, believe it or not. It sounds like you’ve done a fantastic job of creating a learning environment at home. David’s going to be just fine!
Having said that, there are some kids I wish had had a chance at preschool. We ran into another 4-year-old recently who wanted to play catch with my kids. I gave her my 4-year-olds glove and asked her what hand she writes with so I could put the glove on the opposite hand. She looked puzzled. “She doesn’t write,” her mom said. OK, which hand do you color with? I asked. The kid shook her head. “I don’t color.”
Oh. My. Gosh. At the risk of sounding tremendously snobby, I feel so sorry for this kid who’s starting school at such a disadvantage. I’m sure she can catch up eventually, but why make it such a struggle for your kid from the start. I feel equally sorry for her kindergarten teacher. How the heck do you manage a class with one kid who can’t even pick up a crayon and others who are reading already?
Brooke, your Gartorade/gymnastics adventures crack me up because I can SO relate. My 4-year-old, who isn’t so into structured sports, recently lost his karate belt for not paying attention and refusing to stand still when he’s supposed to. I haven’t had to go to the Gatorade – yet but we do have an elaborate ritual of putting on his “listening ears” and activating his “paying attention” brain. That works for about 19 minutes. Unfortunately, the class is 25 minutes long. So maybe I WILL try Gatorade!
9to5to9´s last blog ..No, the government can’t limit your salt. But you should
Twitter: mommiedaze
April 28, 2010
@9to5to9, Yes, it really does depend on what the
parents do at home. It’s sad that some just sit them in front of a TV all day.
My mom teaches elementary school, and she says some kids come to kindergarten
these days and noone’s even taught them how to brush their teeth. I can’t
imagine that.
Twitter: 9to5to9
April 29, 2010
@Colleen, I was apologizing all over the place to my then-6=-year-old’s kindergarten teacher last year because he was writing all in caps. She just shrugged. “I’m thrilled if they even know how to hold scissors, let alone write.”
9to5to9´s last blog ..No, the government can’t limit your salt. But you should
Great post. Even though my son is only 8 months, I have often had this same discussion with my husband. It sounds like you are doing a fantastic job of teaching your son everything he needs to know at this point. I think it depends on the parent whether or not they send their child to pre school. I know some moms and that they just want/need the break.
Either way, keep up the good work!
Stopping by from SITS
Jessica´s last blog ..Post It Note Tuesday….Cleanin’ House
Twitter: domesticsuccess
April 28, 2010
No – no preschool required! It’s an option – mostly to give mom’s a break right!
Sure they learn a lot there, but can learn just as much at home. My 5 year old will start K in the fall. He went to preschool, but is currently home – we do “homework” some mornings and go on lot’s of fieldtrips and has plenty of time with other kids his age. I worry too – but I know he will be just fine.
Wendy´s last blog ..Easy Healthy Muffins
Our son is in preschool because both my husband and I work fulltime outside the home. For us it wasn’t an option.
That being said, Jackson has thrived at preschool and I know that he has learned far more than most kids his age because of hs amazing teacher who has the patience of a Saint!
Even so, preschool is definitely not for every family or child. As long as a child is being stimulated at home and has ample opportunities to learn then I don’t think it is necessary.
Twitter: Shairbearg
April 28, 2010
We are in the same boat with preschool. Jack is starting school in September and he has a speech delay. People have told me that if he went to preschool he wouldn’t have it. I doubt that because he was in daycare for 9 months in a home daycare, and he stopped gaining words. Once I had him home again he gained a lot. Our speech therapist, and autistic assessment panel actually told me that they thought the best option for our son was to keep him home b/c he obviously learns the way I teach him.
He has known his letter recognition, abc’s, shapes, and colours for a long time now. Most of it since he was about 2. He has always just grasped that really quickly. He knows his shapes too.
I have several friends in my Mommy group that teach JK and SK, and always say that he is doing very well. They also have said that there is always some area your child isn’t up to speed on, and they will work on it. I know with Jack it is his speech and socialization. It’s not b/c he didn’t go to preschool, it’s just b/c he is a shy kid. We got to groups and he would rather play on his own or with his brother. He sometimes plays with the other kids, but it takes him a while to warm up to them.
Mom’s always have to feel guilty about something. Don’t worry I worked in JK/SK classes as a coop student and seriously it is hard for any kid that age to sit still for very long. TEachers are use to it.
Twitter: mommiedaze
April 28, 2010
@Shari, I’m not surprised he did better at home.
Where else can kids get that kind of attention and love? That’s really what
they need most at that age.
Twitter: Shairbearg
April 28, 2010
@Colleen,
He does love his Mommy’s attention. Also apparently he is a visual learner, and I am too. I also tend to talk with my hands a lot so I make speech visual, which he totally gets.
Twitter: LovinStilettos
April 28, 2010
I have two kids. my daughter is in 1st grade and she went to preschoool. She knew everything she needed to know for the kindergarten assessment by the time she was old enough for preschool but I sent her anyway because I thought I had to (hellllo naive mama! LOL). My son is almost 4 and won’t be going to preschool. I work full time and he goes to daycare (and has been since he was just under a year old). He gets to socialize with other kids and he learns a TON there, plus he learns a lot at home with us. I can’t afford to add preschool onto my expenses either (it costs A LOT more than daycare) and I feel that he’s already ahead, so there doesn’t seem to be a point. I occasionally feel mommy guilt when someone else asks me why I didn’t send him to preschool. But ultimately I know that he doesn’t need to go, and I know that he’ll do great, if not better than the other kids, because I made sure to teach him everything on my own. Try not to feel too much mommy guilt…we have enough of that no matter what we do. If you are working with him at home and he’s able to socialize with other kids at church/play dates I’m sure he’ll be just fine when he enters Kindergarten.
Michelle´s last blog ..♥Pour Your Heart Out – The One That Blows My Mind.
Twitter: mommiedaze
April 28, 2010
@Michelle, Yeah, I guess the mommy guilt comes
because there is a lot of pressure from society that makes you think you
have to send your kids to preschool.
My children stay with my MIL while I’m at work. I love that they are on the farm…they work in the garden, feed the cows, and run around in the yard all day long. My oldest goes to preschool 3 days a week, but I only put her in this year (she’s going to kindergarten next year). I felt that it would maybe make the transition to full-time school next year a little easier on her, but I didn’t want her in preschool full time bc she’s about to be in school for the next 13+ years. It’s been really good for her and she’s learned so much, but I really don’t feel like she’d have been at a disadvantage next year if she HADN’T gone to preschool! I think that as long as your kids are sitting at home watching tv all day, then they’re probably going to be fine
alison´s last blog ..pure awesomeness
Twitter: mommiedaze
April 28, 2010
@alison, That’s so neat that they get to spend
time with you MIL on the farm. I think that’s a great place for kids to learn.
Some of my best memories are the weeks in the summer I spent at my Grandma’s farm.
I don’t think this can be a “yes or no” question. Preschool is optional, but there are homes where the child is never read to, or encouraged to learn to write, or follow a schedule, or play with other kids.I say that because I’ve met some of those children, and boy do they struggle in kindergarten, and even further on. Clearly that’s not your situation, so preschool wasn’t necessary.
My oldest went to preschool, because I had an infant at home and needed him to go. My youngest went for one year, but then we faced the fact that we really couldn’t afford that luxury,and I knew he didn’t “need” it, so I kept him home with me until kindergarten. He did just as well as his brother that went to three years of preschool.
I don’t know that it even really depends on the child; my thought is that it depends on the family.
Sheri´s last blog ..Monday morning giveaway
Twitter: mommiedaze
April 28, 2010
@Sheri, Yes, I’d say it does have a lot to do
with the home environment for sure.
Twitter: MrsScribe
April 28, 2010
My kids both went to preschool, so I don’t have another model to judge by. But I can say, as a teacher and a Mom, that the foundation kids get at home is the most important!
Preschool is something I consider to be optional. We have sent all three of ours to preschool and been very pleased with the results. In my experience, the need for preschool depends more on the parents than the children. We are related to a woman who thinks education is stupid (literally, she called me stupid for pursuing a masters), and she makes no effort to teach her children anything at all. Her children probably need preschool. In cases where the parents spend time with their children and make an effort to provide them with knowledge, preschool probably isn’t a necessity but a luxury. I have always chosen to work part time, so preschool provided the answer to the epic question of “What will I do with the children while I work?” We have, however, made every effort to read to them every day, take educational trips to zoos and aquariums, and teach them everything we can.
Amanda´s last blog ..Wet Feet…
Twitter: mommiedaze
April 28, 2010
@Amanda, Education is stupid? Oh dear. Sounds like
she needs some “education.”
oh dear….this is such a tender topic right now. i LONG for peanut to go to preschool because of my preschool teaching experience and history. i don’t think kids have to go though. i thinkhappy birthday to you….hope it was a wonderful day!!!!
it can be done at home if parents do what you guys did. i had so many kids who didn’t know close to what david knows and it was because no one was working with them at home. i want peanut to have this experience though and think it would be so beneficial for her but like you guys are on a TERRIBLY limited budget and can’t do it. it makes me very sad.
Mindy´s last blog ..Silly Spaghetti Dogs
Twitter: mommiedaze
April 28, 2010
@Mindy, It really is sad that parents don’t take
the time to teach their kids even basic stuff. I would have sent David to preschool if I could have. I do think the interaction and structure would have helped him a bit. But even for kids who go to pre-school shouldn’t give parents a free pass to not do anything at
home with their kids. I can’t imagine being that uninvolved. I know it happens
because my mom tells me horror stories about kids at her school that show up
not knowing anything.
Twitter: Texasholly
April 30, 2010
You should have no guilt for hanging out with him and giving him individualized attention. At all. My middle kid ended up not even going to Kindergarten (long story, I held him out due to immaturity only to have him test the next year at a much higher level than expected resulting in 1st grade). And my youngest one is ready for preschool, but I think we will hang out for one more year just for the fun of it. They have their whole life ahead of them for organized learning.
I don’t think kids ‘need’ to go to preschool in most cases, I think it’s up to the parents and what works best for them and their children. I know some fantastic homeschooling mums who have chosen (mainly due to financial constraints) not to send their kids to preschool, but instead teach them at home and they do fabulous craft projects and experience life to the fullest, exploring the world around them and learning in an informal setting. In saying that, I also know some other parents who CLAIM to homeschool … and I’ll just leave it at that.
My eldest son went to preschool, out of necessity, because I was a single parent working full-time. My youngest two currently go to preschool 2 mornings a week and LOVE it, but I do that mainly for the social interaction – we are a military family so didn’t know anybody when we moved to our current home last summer. They have made a lot of friends and love the structured activities. However, if we had have stayed at our previous location, there is a chance I would have homeschooled them instead of sending them to preschool because we were part of a very active playgroup and I love getting my kids outdoors, cooking and crafting with them.
* TONYA *´s last blog ..A CLOWN CAKE
Twitter: sbshortie
April 30, 2010
I feel like preschool is a personal choice. The most important thing, in my opinion, is socialization. And it sounds like your son has lots of friends
Becca´s last blog ..Chicken Soup for the Soul: Thanks Mom Giveaway