Parenting

Posted by Colleen     March 9, 2010

Bedtime

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After the lazy, relaxing day we had on Sunday celebrating our anniversary, our peaceful little bubble burst as soon as Dave and I walked in the front door with the boys.

Immediately we flew into action getting bedtime under way. We divided up the children, Dave in one room with David while I was in another with Wade.

That’s the good thing about having just two. You still have a 1:1 ratio.

Dave and I passed briefly in the hallway, I in search of a pacifier, he looking for a teddy bear. Items both important to completing the bedtime routine.

“What a difference. Kids — no kids,” Dave said to me as we rushed past each other.

Bedtime, the result of which is silence. However the process of bedtime is anything but.

There are PJs to put on, one last bottle to give, teeth to brush, stories to read, songs to sing. Often it’s all punctuated by whining, and sometimes crying. Or laughter and shrieks from an over-stimulated, over-tired child.

Bedtime is a lot of work for the parents.

We eventually got everyone settled into bed, much later than on a regular night. We went back to the couch, and watched the movie we rented earlier that evening.

The movie ended, and just as we were ready to go to sleep Wade woke up. Something was bothering him, and we didn’t get Wade or ourselves back to bed until 1:30 that morning.

Dave was right. What a contrast our quiet day alone was to our hectic night of parenting. Just hours before we were lounging carefree on the couch lamenting that we didn’t know what to do. There’s no question of what to do when the kids are around. Just a question of what needs to be done first.

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Posted by Colleen     January 28, 2010

That Crunching Under Your Feet is the Sound of a Lesson Learned

Most days I wonder if anything I say is getting through to David. Usually I talk, and his eyes glaze over.

But today– proof that some things sink in.

We ate lunch at one of those western-themed steakhouses that give you big buckets of peanuts to snack on. David loves to crack open the shells, and fill up on the contents so he’s not hungry when his food arrives.

He was scarfing down peanuts, and neatly collecting the shells on a napkin.

“David, you know you’re supposed to just throw those on the floor here.”

His head snapped up from the kiddie menu he was studying, and he looked at me incredulously. “What?”

“The peanut shells. You don’t have to do that. You can just throw them on the floor.”

“Huh?” With a confused look on his face he looked down at the worn wooden floorboards.

Silence.

*

*

*

*

*

David looked up. “Throw them on the floor?” he asked suspiciously like he thought I was trying to trick him.

“Yeah. It’s OK. You can do that here. See?” and I tossed a shell down.

When I did that I saw something flicker in David’s eyes. That flicker was the realization that the truth he’d based his entire life on had just been irrevocably altered.

Think about it.

Here was his mother who is always telling him, “Don’t spill that! Don’t get cookies crumbs everywhere! Take you shoes off when you walk on the carpet! Wash your hands! CLEAN YOUR ROOM!” throwing what was essentially trash on the floor. And she was saying it was OK.

With disbelief still registering on his face David gingerly picked up one peanut shell. Slowly he placed his hand down at his side, let go of the shell and it fell to the floor with a plink. He kept looking at me the entire time, half waiting for me to freak out and reprimand him for making a mess.

But no reprimand came, and soon he was tossing peanut shells over his shoulder and left and right like a pro.

I guess David was listening to me all along. And here I thought I was wasting my breath. Beating my head against a wall.

So to all you moms out there who keep wondering, “Does it even matter if I repeat this again for the 557th time?”

Yes.

Yes it does.

That 557th time might one be the one time they actually pay attention.

You just never know.

Until you tell them to throw peanut shells on the floor.

Have you even been shocked to discover that your kids actually listened to something you told them?

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Posted by Colleen     March 11, 2009

Why Daylight Savings Time is from the Devil

I finally figured it out.

Daylight Savings Times is a government conspiracy.

They know they can wear us down and get us to do almost anything if our sleep schedules are all out of whack. And especially if our kid’s sleep schedules are off. A few days with a cranky kid who goes to sleep too late and gets up too early will weaken the resolve of even the strongest individual.

Did you notice how many controversial bills are up for consideration in congress this week? They figure we’re too bleary-eyed to notice.

Write your senator and ask them to end this unconstitutional practice today!

OK. So maybe it doesn’t have the makings of an Oliver Stone movie, but seriously, DST really has things messed up in this house.

You wouldn’t think an hour here or there twice a year would have this kind of effect. But it’s like having jet lag.

David who is usually pretty easy to put to bed at 8:30 every night is still bouncing off the walls at 10. I mean really bouncing off the walls. I heard him banging on it or kicking it or something last night.

While you might think falling asleep after 10 p.m. would lead to waking up at 9 the next morning, you’d be wrong. He’s up at 7. And mad at the world because he didn’t get enough sleep. But despite being so tired I can’t get him to take a nap until 2. That leaves him still revved up at bedtime.

I understand his problem because I can’t fall asleep before 11, but wake up at 5:30 in the morning.

Tired, cranky kid and tired mom with a short fuse makes for some long days.

Maybe that’s the key to Daylight Savings Time. It’s not that extra hour of sunshine that makes the days seem longer.

It’s the sleep deprivation.

Does Springing Forward and Falling Back make things crazy in your household? Talk to me.

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Posted by Colleen     March 9, 2009

How do you Spell Romance? M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E

Dave and I celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary on Saturday.

Well, I use the word celebrated loosely, because I spent the day reclining on the couch, sick with a stomach virus, while Dave kept little David entertained so I could rest.

Sunday I was feeling better, thank goodness, because we had tickets to take David to see Playhouse Disney Live. We went out for lunch before the show, and splurged on an expensive appetizer with our meal in honor of our anniversary.

Do we know how to live it up or what?

Anniversaries are usually pretty low key for us anyway. Unless it’s a milestone like our 10th last year when we went to Chicago for a few days, with no child in tow. Although we usually do manage something a little more romantic than eating pasta with a precocious preschooler and watching Mickey Mouse dance hand-in-hand with Goofy.

But you know, I didn’t mind one bit.

As I sat there watching Disney characters parade by and asking myself why I believed it would be OK to eat Italian the day after an upset stomach, my eyes fell on David’s beaming face. He was mesmerized by all the music, lights and activity on stage. Dave was there next to me just as he has been for the last 11 years. Wade was tucked safe inside my womb waiting to arrive in June.

I began to wander back over a decade, in and out of memories. A lot of good memories. A few difficult times, but mostly good. Then I considered the events of the last two days, and thought, “This is why we got married. All of this.”

To be together. To have a family. To share life’s ups and downs.

Is there anyone else I’d want around while I convalesced all day in my nightgown, hair uncombed, no make-up?

Is there anyone else, who on our anniversary without complaint, would keep a four-year-old occupied for hours so I could rest?

Is there any better date than spending a day with my guys?

To all those questions the answer is simply no.

As the curtain came down on Mickey and his friends I knew there was no place I’d rather be.

Not for all the quiet dinners and dancing and roses and candlelight in the world.

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Posted by Colleen     February 27, 2009

Family Day Out on a Budget in West Michigan

If you live in West Michigan, or are planning to visit, here’s a day of affordable fun for the whole family.

Recently we went downtown to the Kalamazoo Valley Museum. I’d heard good things about it from other moms, and what intrigued me most is that general admission is free. Like everyone else these days, we’re trying to be thriftier with our budget.

Well, the KVM is absolutely fantastic! They have some really great exhibits detailing the history of West Michigan that interest Mom and Dad. But the highlights are all the interactive displays that even young children can participate in.

There are several science related exhibits. One features weather phenomenon, and you can watch as a miniature tornado forms. Another teaches how magnets work, and has hands-on activities for experimenting with magnetic energy. A display on electricity allows you to power a light bulb and a radio by turning a crank. That fascinated my son, David. You can even build a remote control car and race it around a small track. That was really popular with David too.

Besides the permanent exhibits, the museum features several  temporary ones through out the year. Currently Eyes on Earth details how satellites work using several interactive displays. We spent a lot of time in that section experimenting with orbit and radar imaging. It sounds complicated, but because it’s so hands-on, even four year old David seemed to understand it.

All pre-schoolers will love the Children’s Landscape room. There you’ll find books, games, toys and even dress-up costumes to entertain little ones. We had to tear David away from the indoor snowball fight, fought with bean bags behind cardboard snow forts.

The KVM does have to two exhibits that charge admission. The Challenger Learning Center features a simulated space station and mission control. It was not open the day we were there. The other is the planetarium which has several different shows through out the week. We were fortunate to be there during the show designed for pre-school and elementary children. David enjoyed that too. Both these exhibits cost $3 a person.

We spent about three hours at the museum, including the 45 minute planetarium show. David didn’t want to leave, but Mom and Dad were starving. So we headed down a couple blocks to Old Burdicks housed in the Radisson Hotel.

Old Burdicks is a local sports bar and grill with a family-friendly atmosphere. The menu has a little of everything; steaks, burgers, pasta, Asian stir fry, even comfort food. The food is good, and reasonably priced. What makes it great for families on a budget is that for every adult entree purchased you get a free kid’s meal.

Kalamazoo is fairly easy to get around. There is a parking garage across from the museum. The fee is small and even less on weekends. The garage is centrally located in the downtown area so shops, restaurants and other places of interest are in easy walking distance. We probably would have spent more time downtown, but it was too cold and snowy that day to do much walking.

The Kalamazoo Valley Museum is definitely worth checking out, even if you have to drive a little to get to it. It’s quality family entertainment for free. You can’t get more bang your buck.

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Posted by Colleen     February 13, 2009

An Ode to All that is Greasy, Salty and Good in the World

I did something the other day that I vowed to myself I would NEVER, EVER do as long as I lived in my whole entire life even if the world as we know it ceased to exist.

I bought pre-cooked bacon.

Sshh! Don’t Tell anyone!

I used to pass incredulously by the pre-cooked bacon thinking how profuse and extravagant to spend $3 for 12 measly pieces of bacon when that same price gets you a whole pound of raw.  I was not so lazy and slovenly that I couldn’t take the time to cook my own bacon.

But I was tired and I only needed a few slices, I justified.

Checking that no one was looking, I quickly pulled the offending product off the shelf, threw it in the cart and buried it under a bag of chips like it was a dime bag .

At the check out I didn’t make eye contact with the cashier, sure she was judging my indolent purchase.

But you know what?

I LOVE it!

I think I’m hooked.

First I put it on chicken sandwiches with Swiss cheese. If ever God created three foods to be eaten together, it’s those three. So tasty! Who needs Arby’s?

Then I had a couple pieces for breakfast.

You know you can warm that stuff up in the microwave and it’s just as greasy, salty and full of fatty goodness as regular bacon?

Today for lunch I crumbled some and put it on my salad.

D-I-V-I-N-E!

All of that scrumptiousness and non of the greasy, splattery mess.

I have two pieces left. Then I’m gonna have to go by some more.

Oh, the shame.

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Posted by Colleen     February 10, 2009

Confessions of an Introvert

I don’t mind being alone.

In fact I kind of enjoy it.

I really don’t like being in a big group, especially if it’s with a bunch of people I’ve never met.

I just don’t know what to do in a crowd like that. I get all tongue tied and can’t think of anything to talk about except the weather, then I worry that I’m totally lame, and decide I should just shut up, and listen to everyone else.

I’m a really, really good listener.

I can handle maybe three or four good friends at a time.

I don’t make friends easily. Not because I don’t want too. Mostly because I’m terrible at making small talk and conversation.

Sometimes after I’ve met someone new and dumbly smiled and nodded, I’ll wake up in the middle of the night and think of a question I should have asked them or a funny comment I should have made.

I always wanted to be the popular girl, miss congeniality, the prom queen, but that’s hard to do when you’re busy being the wall flower.

I’m also intimidated by popular girl, miss congeniality, and the prom queen.

But if popular girl, miss congeniality, and the prom queen really make an effort to befriend me and they’re sincere, we can be life-long chums. See forced into a group of strangers with popular girl, miss congeniality, or the prom queen at my side is like being armed with a gun at a knife fight. It gives me a certain social courage I lack on my own.

I used to think there was something wrong with me.

Then I realized I was just an introvert. And I wasn’t the only introvert. There are a lot us, and God wouldn’t have created so many of us it we were all broken. We have as much to offer as popular girl, miss congeniality, and the prom queen.

Like I said I’m a really good listener.

I could sit and listen to you talk about yourself, your life, your problems for hours. And I won’t give you a bunch of unsolicited advice and opinions. If you really push me, I ‘ll give you my very brief and carefully worded thoughts.

Because I spend most of my time observing people, I can read people really well too. If I do pick you to be my friend, there’s a very high probability that you’re a good egg and we’ll be friends for a long time.

Sometimes I read people so well I know more about why you do the things you do than you do.

But like I said I won’t tell you unless you drag it out of me.

My biggest challenge right now?

My son is nothing like me.

He’s a hardcore extrovert.

He can’t stand to be alone. Doesn’t like silence. Loves attention. Talks continuously.

It can be draining for an introvert to spend a lot of time with an extrovert like my son, because everything they do is totally out of our comfort zone.

When I just need a few minutes of silence, alone with my thoughts, I can’t get it. His personality can be like nails on a chalk board some days.

My son also loves to talk to strangers.

Stranger Danger means nothing to him.

That forces me to talk to strangers too. Anywhere and everywhere we go.

I hate talking to strangers.

Sometimes when he starts saying hello to everyone in the grocery store, I want to crawl into the freezer and bury myself under the frozen peas.

My son is also my greatest blessing.

He’s forced me to talk to people I never would have otherwise. And sometimes that makes me realize I do have something interesting to say, and I should say it more often.

His effervescence forces me outside of myself when I’d be happy to spend all day with Me, Myself and I and our pithy thoughts.

He stretches me, and it’s good for me.

I’m an introvert and it’s O.K.

But flexing my social muscle, even if it burns a little at first, usually feels pretty good in the end too.

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