A Stubborn Streak Runs Through It

I love David with my whole heart.

David is smart and funny. He loves fiercely and deeply very easily. He is a social butterfly, the life of the party and, I fear, soon the class clown. He knows who he is, what he stands for, and isn’t afraid to tell everyone else all about it. David fears little, and is daunted by even less.

He is only five.

David is also a difficult child. He has a stubborn streak that goes on for miles.

He was less than two years old the first time he looked me square in the eyes, dug in his heels and said, “No!” with such conviction that it scared me a little.

David and I lock horns often. In a lot of ways he’s like me. Too much like me.

Arguing in circles with a 5 year old when you’re a 35 year old woman is ridiculous. I know I should shut my mouth, and walk away. But David and I both like to have the last word. Sometimes I can’t help myself.

In a preschooler defiance manifests itself by complaining about nap time and or when the TV is turned off.

Now that David’s going into kindergarten he’s getting more creative about displaying his rebellious nature.

While staying at my parent’s house about a month ago, David insisted on wearing his gym shoes inside all day long for all four days of his visit. Finally my mom asked him why.

“Because my mom won’t let me wear my shoes in my house. I can wear my shoes in your house, so I’m going to!”

We have white linoleum in the kitchen, and light gray carpet in the living room. It takes five minutes after vacuuming and mopping for the floors to look dirty again. In an attempt to keep them looking cleaner longer, I banned wearing shoes in the house.

That rule grinds on David for the simple fact that it’s a rule he has to follow every day. In his mind he was sticking it to me by wearing his shoes in Grandma’s house.

David went to Bible School this week. I asked him if he had fun.

“It’s fun, but it’s not so good, because you can’t play the games you want to play.”

“What do you mean?”

“I wanted to play Duck Duck Goose, but the teacher said we had to play some other game. I don’t like not being able to do what I want.”

“But you had still had fun?”

“Yeah.”

“See. You can follow the rules and still have fun, David.”

His response to that was a barely audible grunt.

This is probably my fault. He gets the stubborn streak from me.

I’ve heard the following story about myself many times from my mother.

My parents and I were staying at church camp when I was three years old.

I was freshly scrubbed, and dressed in clean clothes for the evening’s meeting at the tabernacle. My mother and I were walking down the gravel path to the service.

It rained earlier in the day, and there in front of me was an irresistible mud puddle.

Reading my mind my mother told me, “Don’t jump in the mud puddle. If you do, I’ll spank you.”

I looked at her, I looked at the mud puddle and then ran over and jumped in it.

She swatted my bottom. “I told you I’d spank you if you did that.”

I looked up at her, “It was worth it.”

I know that some of David’s better qualities go hand-in-hand with his strong-will.

I believe David will be able to fight peer pressure, because he is not easily swayed. David will never give-up on people that he loves. David makes friends easily, because he is sure of himself and not shy. David will step up and lead someday, and say, “it can be done,” when everyone else says, “it can’t.”

My job as David’s mom is to channel his stubbornness in the right direction. Some days it’s hard to see the future when I’m locked in a battle with him over why he can’t eat Popsicles for breakfast.

But I’m just as strong-willed, and I won’t give up trying to teach him that sometimes it’s OK to say no. And other times –  well, you just really shouldn’t jump in that mud puddle after all.

Similar Posts:

• Grandma Comes to Town
• Where are My Parents and what have You Done with Them?
• That Crunching Under Your Feet is the Sound of a Lesson Learned

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