Let’s Play the Weird Celebrity Baby Names Game

guinnessSo another child joins the ranks of celebrity babies with weird names. Kim and Kanye named their baby North.


Yeah, that kid won’t need therapy.

North joins a lengthy list of other celebrity babies with monikers guaranteed to get them bullied on the jewel-encrusted playgrounds of their private schools.

Tu Morrow – Rob Morrow

Blanket – Michael Jackson

Jermajesty – Jermaine Jackson. (What’s with that family?)

Kal-El – Nicolas Cage (Do you think he wears Superman UnderRoos?)

Gwyneth Paltrow – Apple (I wish she had another child named iPad.)

Frank Zappa was the original celebrity with kids with crazy names – Dweezil, Moon Unit, Ahment, Diva. (At least he had the ’60s as an excuse.)

And that’s just a few of the stars who gave their kids strange names. There are way too many more.

Is there some kind of secret Hollywood competition to see who can screw up their kids the most by giving them a strange name? Are they just so smitten with themselves that they don’t care about saddling their kids with terrible names? Do they think they’re creative geniuses?

I really don’t know.

But, this whole thing got me thinking, if I were a famous, narcissistic celebrity what would I name my kids?

In the tradition of Kim, Kanye and Rob Morrow I came up with…

Wait for it…

Guinness Stout.

You know, like the beer. I don’t even drink, but I am Irish, so it could work. I couldn’t come up with much else that goes with Stout. Ima Little Teapot Shortand is too long.

If I’m just going with weird names, I’m thinking Downton Stargazer. I like Downton Abbey and looking at stars. Makes sense, right?

So let’s play a little game. If you were a celeb what weird names would you give your kids? Tell us in the comments so we can all have a good laugh!

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  1. Can I steal Cosmo? rofl…
    Cosmo Kramer – two birds one stone and also refers to Seinfeld.

  2. I always wanted to use names that made the initials spell something. But your mother said they always do the birth certificate stuff in the hospital with the mother. I missed out using “Diana Olivia” or “David Oscar” = “D.O.G.”

  3. I never thought of that. lol I think none of my kids have any that spells out anything.

  4. Our last name is Ash and we had a few names we knew we just could NEVER name our kids, like Jack Ash or Harry Ash. Friends and co-workers thought of others: Smart Ash, Wise Ash, Candy Ash, Sweet Ash, Fat Ash, Dumb Ash, Youbetyer Ash…you get the picture.

  5. I totally don’t get those kooky Hollywood names. I seriously don’t think I could look at my kid and call her “Apple” with a straight face. If I had to choose one, though, I would go with something in nature and since we;re on vacation at the beach this week I’ll go with “Ocean Breeze” – it’s gender neutral! :-)

  6. If I named my child Turkey, they would be teased mercilessly at Thanksgiving, as my last name is Brine.

    My maiden name being Stout, “teapot” was a nickname given to me by my friends. And they would sing, “I’m a little teapot short like Debby Stout…”

  7. North West is really a weird name but that baby is one of the luckiest in the world because of fame of her parents. I just don’t know if she would like that when she grows up

  8. Gosh, I have no idea! But my husband would probably vote for Peter Parker, which is a fine name except for the fact that it’s Spiderman’s alter-ego :-).

  9. Stephanie says:

    When I first heard that Kimye named their child North I thought it was some kind of hoax to get publicity for when they announced the real name. LOL

  10. I still keep waiting for Kim and Kayne to tell us all it was a big joke! I could never really come up with anything too crazy, but my husband did want to name my boys Tom and Jerry. My sisters last name is Hunter, and we had all kinds of fun with names for her boys. My son loved Shark Hunter, or Bounty Hunter. Thankfully she stayed with the tried and true!! Thanks for a fun post!

  11. Wheeler says:

    My last name is Wheeler.

    So, naturally, I’d name my child Four, Hot, Eighteen, etc.

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