Frankly My Dear Pinterest, I Don’t Give a Care

dontcareI love Pinterest. I do. It’s like this one, big, world-wide, inspirational creative-collaborative.

I mean, the world just keeps getting smaller and smaller. How awesome is it that I can put a dinner on the table tonight here in Michigan that was inspired by a recipe pinned by someone from Germany who found it on a British blog? OK, well, that’s obviously completely fictional, because there’s no such thing as good British food. But you know what I mean, right?

BUT…

There are some things even Pinterest can’t inspire me to do.

There are certain popular pins that I keep seeing pop up over and over, and I don’t pin them because I’m just too lazy to care.

Like…

1. How to Clean Like a Professional – I would never put that much effort into cleaning my house. And if I wanted my house cleaned professionally I would hire a professional. That’s why professional cleaners exist. For now I’m quite happy with my dusty baseboards and hard-water spots.

2. How to Organize {Anything} – Because, oh my word! I don’t have time for all that anal perfection. Good grief. Who wants to spend their days alphabetizing their serving spoons? Besides I’d need to clean my house professionally before I get it organized.

3. How to Make Your Own Yogurt – Or Goldfish Crackers or Kit Kat bars or Deoderant or anything else I can buy at the store that’s good enough out of the box.

When should I fit that in?

Oh, I know. I’ll make my own Thin Mints right after I finish sorting all my rubber bands by size and color. Boxed Thin Mints are why God gave us Girl Scouts. Let’s not take business away from those innocent little girls by making our own.

4. How to tile your floor with Pennies – Or paper or angel wings or any other bizarre covering that isn’t meant to be walked on. First off, it’s technically illegal to deface American money. I’m pretty sure gluing pennies to a floor then stomping all over them with dirty shoes falls under defacing.

Secondly, have you seen the many complicated steps and multiple coats of poly-urethane required for these projects? You could Pergo your whole house a hundred times over!

Thirdly, a house carpeted in pennies would buy at least one or two pairs of nice boots.

5. How to Stand on Your Head on an Exercise Ball – Or something like that where you twist yourself into a contorted yoga position, like touching your ear with your toe, while balancing upside down on a giant ball.

Sorry.

I don’t have enough insurance to cover the injuries  I would incur attempting to do something like that.

Hmm… Maybe if I made my own Gluten-Nut-Sugar-Dairy-Free, Organic, Paleo, Lama Yogurt I’d be so healthy I wouldn’t need to exercise at all…

So, you know, keep pinning all that yummy cheese and bacon-filled goodness and all the cute dresses I won’t fit into when I eat that stuff. But please, enough with all the pins that want me to make significant life changes I’m just not prepared to make, like ever.

Now I’m gonna go professionally lay on my store-bought couch, eat store-bought ice cream and watch DVRd British dramas. Those British do make good TV.

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Comments

  1. Funny post!

    What about how to do 500 jumping jacks, while eating a paelo diet, cleaning your bedroom, and making vday cupcakes (with no flour of course!)

    I love pinterest, but I agree sometimes I think “Ain’t nobody got time for that”!

  2. Totally laughed out loud!

  3. Pinterest drives me NUTS!! I see all these really cool things that I’ll NEVER do, but I pin them because “some day I’m going to do this!” HA!! I call BS (on myself!). Seriously. Who invented Pinterest anyway?
    Stopping by from SITS!

  4. What? You didn’t make your couch out of reclaimed wood you found on the street and fabric you got off of Craigslist? Hehe, your post made me giggle. Some of things I come across (i.e. cupcakes that seem to be on a constant flow in my Pinterest stream) look like they require too much time and effort. I’d rather just spend that time pinning and pretending like I will actually do any of those things ;-)

  5. Popped in from SITS! Those skinny sweaty girls that do all the ‘train like a beast, look like a beauty’….drives me nuts!

    • The best is when there’s a pin of that skinny girl working out right next to a recipe for triple chocolate cake.

  6. Pinterest has is good qualities and its WTF? qualities. At least it gives me a good laugh!

  7. ROFL!!! These are great. More power to them. I’ve tried some of that stuff on pinterest. I agree with you though, who has time? Maybe when I’m an empty nester?

  8. HA HA HA! Loving this! If I had time to do all the things I see on Pinterest, I would have no time to be on Pinterest! ;)

  9. I’ve completely given up on trying to live up to Pinterest Standard. My self-esteem has plummeted since I joined Pinterest, but damn if I don’t log on every day. Great post. Visiting from SITS!

    • They need to invent a Pinterest for failed recipes and crafts so we can browse them and boost our self-esteem.

  10. I cannot stop laughing!!
    I COULD NOT AGREE MORE!!!
    I am ESPECIALLY not making homemade versions of things I can buy at the grocery….EVER!!!

  11. I am pretty pretty much all about the food on Pinterest. I like some tips – but definitely not about how to clean my house or injure myself doing exercise. And I totally agree about British TV. :)

  12. Move over and me a spoon please

  13. Yes! This is pretty much the post I recently blogged on about how I’m so damn tired of seeing “perfect” represented on the internet. Blogs, etc. were supposed to be my place to go to see the “real”, not the perfect. :) Though I do pin some really stupid things. I’m guilty of the cleaning one– only because in a “perfect” world, I’d love a really clean house all the time. I just don’t want to actually do it!

  14. haha I LOVE this! I would seriously stare at pins and think, WTF has time to do this crap?! I’m currently on mat leave so kinda have an idea of SAHM timeline and I don’t have time to do anything like this!

  15. Ha! There is so much cool stuff on Pinterest, but lots of stuff that just makes me shake my head. I thought the same thing about that How to Organize Anything Pin! Forget it!

  16. I am sooo with you on most of these! I have to say I do enjoy some british bangers and mash though. This may be the best post I read all day. And I agree, what’s with the pennies? Why would anyone do that?

  17. Haha! Loved this. That is the exact reason I stopped paying attention to the Pinterest Craze. All I kept seeing were things I really don’t care too much about.

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